how quickly some things fade.

after the demise of my relationship with abby, I began to speculate as to whether there may be any other girls in my life worth pursuing. truthfully I desperately want companionship. to fill me up. and I do not feel as though this may be in conflict with my relation to God. I am content with Him, however there is nothing quite like loving a girl. To run my hands through soft hair and let my eyes find rest in a peaceful heart.

There is so much in this world that I do not understand.

I desire the end, a touch of armageddon.

I can't stop thinking about her, every moment we had. All the music we shared. Every conversation. Every hair on her head and every fleck of blue in her eyes. So of course I feel defeated because I have tried so hard to forget. I want another chance. Not with her.

If God is willing, I swear I will pour out my heart to a deserving girl even more than I did for abby. I would give anything for another chance to love someone, and I would give even more to keep that. I want to pour out the pure melted form of what God has graced me with.

Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

Like fire like son. If I am a son of God, then I am the son of an unquenchable fire. And how much can I give? I hope to see the full extent of my capabilities someday.

In everything that He is,

Michael Holden.