no mysteries. no enigmas. in plain speech.

she is not quite what i thought. i cannot say anything for sure, i have learned that patience is the salvation for nearly all relationships. what i do know of her i love.

her voice. the way she laughs. her stark honesty. of course, it does bother me a bit. i wonder if honesty is really important. i believe honesty is a means to an end. not an ideal. not an achievement. not a way of life.

if we are always honest, then we are probably going to be much more selfish than anyone really desires.

honesty has nothing to do with truth. should i be honest about my lustful thoughts? my bad habits? my shortcomings and flaws? yes, but only in order to change them.

what good does it do to always be honest and to never change? some would argue.

"be yourself!"

ha. what a foolish thing to say! should i rephrase?

"don't try to change for the better, it will never happen! just do what comes naturally! do what you feel!"

are these not the same? to be myself at any given time could be quite confusing, if i were to give in to selfish desires. swaying moods. lustful thoughts. all of these things would destroy my relationships in only days.

it is a difficult task. a narrow path. a road less traveled.

why do i feel i am the only one?

if you understand these things i hope you are encouraged. positivity ends in destruction, darling, i'm sorry.

yours truly, michael holden